Tonia Frederick & Family

In today’s media saturated culture, young people receive so many mixed messages about relationships, love and sex.  It’s hard to know who or what to listen to.

I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to hear a life-changing message at an early age that helped shape the course of my life.  While away at a youth conference, I heard a youth minister talk about “saving yourself for marriage and giving the best gift – your whole self to your future spouse”.  He spoke of purity and went on to say that we did not have to follow the crowd and do what it seems like everyone else was doing.  He said God has a better way; the best way.  I knew that that was something that I wanted for my life.  When I would finally meet the man I was going to marry, I wanted to be able to tell him that I waited for him and saved myself for him and only him.  Little did I know, the man I did decide to marry had made the same commitment to sexual purity as young person.  Also while attending this conference, I realized that I wanted to commit my life to helping the lost and hurting people around the world, through world missions.  I wanted to marry someone with that same passion.

As a teenager who attended a large public high school, there were many challenges and temptations surrounding me.  I was an outgoing person who loved people and enjoyed having an active life.  I was a cheerleader, involved in sports and loved to hang out with my friends.  I, like many teenage girls, had crushes and was definitely interested in the opposite sex, but never got really serious with anyone as a teen.  I held dear to the standards that I set early on and I’m thankful that God gave me the grace and the strength not to follow the crowd. At times, when you’re making different decisions than many around you, it can feel lonely and you can feel like an outcast.  In reality, there is always someone watching and respecting those who take a stand for something good.  Although I was “different” in their eyes, those same peers voted me prom and homecoming queen to represent their class that year.  That was very encouraging to me because it was like God was honoring the commitment I had made to follow His ways. 

After graduation, I served for one year as an intern for the organization that held the youth conferences I attended as a teenager.  I then went on to get my degree at a private university.  It was there that I met my husband, Jason.  We both had “dated” other people and cultivated lifetime friendships with many great people during our college years.  During my final year of school, Jason and I ended up taking a class together.  Weeks later, we went on what was supposed to be a double date with some friends.  The other couple had to back out, therefore, we just went together.  We had a great time and realized that there was something special there. We both knew that the other was passionate about God, life and overseas mission work.  After a time of cultivating a healthy friendship, we decided to take it a step further, knowing that this was headed towards a possible lifetime relationship, we began “courting”.  We went on our first date in February and didn’t have our first kiss until September.  Several months later, we stood before God, family and friends and were able to commit our lives and our whole selves to one another – following through with the commitment that we had both made years before.